Benefits of Peer Independence
You can't be a leader if you're easily led. Everyday life demands many
instances of quiet leadership - whether influencing others, or simply
choosing to direct our own actions.
If you wish to advance your career, you will need to become comfortable
with doing more than your peers, and doing it better. Even this modest
ambition requires strength, to resist the pressure to conform to social
norms. If you wish to find a life partner you may need to break out of
a social 'rut' and explore life in a more adventurous manner. Followers
don't have adventures; they wait for invitations.
In order for your life to become more of an adventure, you need to free
yourself from the restraining influence of friends, family, colleagues.
Their life patterns and choices need not define yours. A peer independent
person is able to enjoy friendships and love without losing their individuality.
Qualities of Peer Independent People
An individual with high levels of peer independence displays some or all
of the following traits :
- originality of thought
- leadership
- willingness to listen to opposing views
- moral courage
- integrity
- credibility
Peer independence is almost synonymous with honesty, because peer independent
people have a strong relationship with objective truth. Peer independent
people are regarded as highly credible, and often make exceptional salespeople
and senior managers. Many scientists and engineers exhibit high levels
of peer independence; it is not yet clear whether this is a result of
their training, or whether this quality attracted them to science and
engineering in the first instance.
The Life of Your Choice
Peer independence isn't an 'all or nothing' quality. We all have it in
some measure. The greater our reserves of peer independence, the more
readily we can make choices. Accepting personal freedom is a challenge
for many people, yet it is at the heart of any process of personal growth.
In order to understand how we can enhance our peer independence, we need
to understand how its converse - peer dependence - develops.
We exhibit peer dependence for three principal reasons :
- as social animals we are 'programmed' to respond to social cues
- we may have come to value our own judgements and beliefs less than
those of other people
- we fear conflict
Enhancing peer independence is achieved through the following processes
:
- building up resistance to social cues; becoming less susceptible
to dominant individuals
- increasing our respect for our own judgements, views and beliefs
- reducing the anxiety experienced when acting beyond artificial,
peer-defined limits
- accepting our freedom
Accept Your Freedom
Confidence Club has developed a hypnotherapy CD - 'Developing Peer Independence'
-which focuses specifically on the four qualities listed above. Hypnotherapy
is the agent of choice because it acts at an unconscious level, enabling
us to access the levels of mind which must be modified if we are to change
our behaviours.
Through regular use, you will experience a welcome detachment from the
pressure exerted by your peers. You will become much more skilled in recognising
situations where your behaviour is irrationally influenced by group dynamics.
You will increasingly back your own judgement and will become more relaxed
when acting on your own initiative. You may find yourself acting with
greater integrity; this in turn will enhance your credibility.
All aspects of confidence development have the power to enrich our lives.
Peer independence helps us to live more adventurously, to break taboos
with less anxiety, and to develop the leadership qualities of integrity
and moral courage.
FAQs
Is hypnotherapy safe?
Hypnotherapy is probably the safest form of therapy available. You must
not use the CD whilst driving, or operating machinery, for obvious reasons.
If you suffer from epilepsy, are under any medication, or undertaking
any form of psychotherapy, you should consult your physician before undertaking
hypnotherapy.
What changes will I experience through using the 'Developing Peer
Independence' CD?
You will become more accepting of your own views and beliefs, and will
find it easier to act independently of your peers. Your responses to situations
will be directed increasingly from within, and you will exhibit less of
a knee jerk reaction to the social cues provided by dominant individuals
in your life.
How often should I listen to the CD?
In the early stages, 2 - 3 times per week. After the first month, reduce
this to once per week. After 6 months, reduce to once per month. Set aside
private time when you can listen to the CD in comfort, with no external
distractions. Some of the messages are explicit, whilst others are indirect - they will influence your behaviour in ways which are not clear to you.
This time commitment is important. Taken over the course of a year it
is a trivial amount of time, although you will need to be quite disciplined
in the early stages. Changing patterns of behaviour requires commitment.
My confidence profile indicates that I need to develop in more than
one area. Which should I focus on first?
Focus on the one which most inspires you. Personal development is a continuous
process - change is a constant in our lives - so you can feel free to
start your program at any point. The important thing is to start somewhere.
Once the benefits of your more relaxed, more confident self begin to emerge,
you will find it easy to continue with your program of self development.
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