| We continually communicate through body language.
An excellent example of physical presence at work is the experienced
schoolteacher who enters a room and the room falls silent. A less
experienced teacher might enter the same room without any discernible
effect on volume levels. This happens even if the experienced teacher
is new to the school - he or she has no 'reputation'. What is happening
here? If you are privileged to be able to observe this process in
action, you may notice two consistent themes :
- the experienced teacher is more 'still' than the novice
- the experienced teacher strongly expects the class to become
quiet
It's a sobering thought that our expectations - unvoiced thoughts
which we believed were constrained within our skulls - are actually
being communicated to the world at large. But that is what we do,
every second of every day. We communicate. We transmit information
which rarely makes it to our conscious awareness.
Humans are natural communicators. We transmit status information
all the time. We also transmit details of some of our intentions,
such as our willingness to fight. Most of this is quite unconscious,
and its influence is not just on the people around us - our body
language also helps to set our internal perceptions. As difficult
as this may be to grasp, the way that you behave outwardly will
influence your self perception. Therefore you can either experience
a virtuous cycle positive body language raising your self esteem
and generating more of the good stuff - or a vicious cycle in which
your slumped shoulders and 'victim' posture reinforce and sustain
all your worst feelings.
Career benefits
In virtually all professions, it is an asset to project a commanding
physical presence, if only for a proportion of the working day.
Very often we also need to tone down our command presence - for
example, in caring professions when we wish to empathise with our
clients - so it is helpful to develop some conscious awareness of
the signals we are transmitting, as well as unconscious mastery
of the skills involved. A person who does not project a high degree
of physical presence will often be overlooked - literally and metaphorically.
It is no accident that so many business and political leaders are
imposing individuals with large body frames - nature has given them
a head start in the physical presence stakes, and they have simply
exploited this natural advantage. Perhaps the greatest benefit to
be derived from developing greater presence is the increased likelihood
of being taken seriously. It can be highly frustrating to have one's
ideas ignored when colleagues with less to contribute seem able
to put their point across with much greater force.
Unconscious mastery
The key to developing physical presence is the acquisition of an
unshakeable belief in one's own value and worth. People who are
reluctant to project physical presence are signalling some deep-seated
insecurity, a sense that they do not feel 'worthy' to occupy so
much space. Note that this is context-dependent - you will project
far greater presence in some situations, with some people, than
in other contexts. As a secondary gain, it is also extremely valuable
to reset our non-verbal communication - body language and tone of
voice - to reflect our growing physical presence. There is a risk
that our non-verbal communication will undermine our growing self
confidence, by continuing to project our old, outdated sense of
self worth. So the challenge is to develop an unshakeable belief
in your own worth, uncompromised by situation or the presence of
highly dominant individuals. Such fundamental change may appear
to be something of a challenge - how do you increase your sense
of worth? In fact it is an everyday occurrence, albeit on a small
scale. We all experience minor triumphs and disasters which impact
on our sense of personal worth. Consider the way you feel when somebody
unexpectedly gives you a small 'thank you' gift in return for some
act of kindness which you had forgotten? On the other hand, consider
the way your self confidence can be damaged by an insulting comment
- even one which comes from a total stranger who has no knowledge
of you. The reality is that one's sense of worth is continually
fluctuating. We may consider it as being analogous to a bank account.
Harmful experiences are like withdrawals, whilst beneficial ones
are like deposits. We could wait for our sense of worth to be topped
up spontaneously - or we can act decisively to change things for
the better. Building a powerful sense of personal value requires
an unravelling of some of our existing beliefs about ourselves.
Our conscious beliefs are easy to identify, but strangely difficult
to change. This is because they stem from unconscious beliefs to
which we have little conscious access. The unconscious mind is in
control.
Body Language
We can learn body language just as we learn to drive, or swim,
or walk. At first it appears unnatural and forced, but with practice
we are able to utilise new skills unconsciously. The great benefit
of body language training has been touched on earlier, but deserves
to be repeated : the signals which you send to the outside world
also form your inner perception of self. It sounds totally insane,
but it's absolutely true. Smile, and you feel happier. Stand up
when you make a telephone call, and your language becomes more decisive.
By exercising conscious control over your body language, you can
ensure that the messages you send inwards, to the deepest levels
of your psyche, are positive, constructive messages.
Reprogramming your body language takes time and subtlety. You could
read books on the subject - you may already have done so - with
little to show in the form of changes to your day to day actions
and responses. The difficulty here is with internalisation - we
are all so attuned to body language that it's actually quite difficult
to bluff it. If you are only making changes through your conscious
mind - deciding how to stand, or walk, or what expression to have
on your face - this will be perceived by others as false. More tellingly,
your internal commitment to these changed behaviours will be slight,
making your new position fragile and vulnerable to challenge.
The only certain way to reprogram our body language is from within.
The most effective path to such internal readjustment is through
light hypnotic trance. Deep trance is valuable for dealing with
values and beliefs; light trance is ideal for work with behaviours.
Changing our body language is a behavioural adjustment, requiring
a combination of conscious awareness and unconscious programming.
Hypnotic trancework enables the subject to exploit the relationship
between conscious and unconscious minds in a constructive manner.
There is a whole world of internal communication which is concealed
from our conscious awareness. For example, no matter how hard you
try consciously to ignore a terrible pain, you know that you will
be defeated. Narcotics can help by disrupting the biochemical pathways
associated with the delivery of the pain message, but you can't
think your way out of pain, can you? Well actually, yes. Hypnosis
has been used with great success in surgery - as an alternative
to anaesthetics - in childbirth, and in helping terminally ill patients
to deal with their pain without the blunting effects of high dosage
drugs which would otherwise be needed.
Hypnosis works by slipping past the conscious mind and establishing
lines of communication with other levels of mind. We have to use
vague terms like 'other levels of mind' because, quite frankly,
our understanding of the unconscious psyche is extremely limited.
We can only assume that Nature conceals the workings of our inner
minds for good reason.
Confidence Club's approach to the development of enhanced physical
presence is based on the following principles :
- use of hypnosis to enhance access to the unconscious mind
- use of different depths of hypnosis to provide gains in beliefs
and behaviours
- direct and indirect hypnotic suggestion to enable the subject
to value self more highly
- direct hypnotic suggestion to establish clear rules of body
language which will be carried out without conscious awareness
- direct hypnotic suggestion to enable the subject to achieve
greater awareness of non-verbal communication - own and others'
We have produced a unique hypnotherapy CD entitled 'Developing
Physical Presence' which focuses specifically on these attributes.
Hypnotherapy is a remarkably direct and effective form of treatment,
yet most hypnotherapy tapes and CDs have been frustratingly generic
in content - they have attempted to address a broad range of requirements
simultaneously. Whilst this may have some value, we are committed
to making our resources as specific as possible, providing you with
the most effective tools available to enhance specific aspects of
your self confidence (because tailored clothes always fit better).
Contents
The specific Body Language attributes which are developed through
the 'Developing Physical Presence' CD include :
- Posture
- Use of head position to signal dominance
- Eye contact
- Purposeful movement
- Relaxed awareness
The Self Worth qualities developed through the CD include :
- Ancestral links - Respect for self and others
- Deletion of past failures
- Developing future focus
- Leadership values
FAQs
Is hypnotherapy safe?
Hypnotherapy is probably the safest form of therapy available.
You must not use the CD whilst driving, or operating machinery,
for obvious reasons. If you suffer from epilepsy, are under any
medication, or undertaking any form of psychotherapy, you should
consult your physician before undertaking hypnotherapy.
What changes will I experience through using the 'Developing Physical
Presence' CD?
You will feel much more relaxed when speaking in public. Your ability
to communicate your views and wishes will be much less hampered
by anxiety about your performance. You will find it easier to project
your true personality in large group settings.
How often should I listen to the CD?
In the early stages, 2 - 3 times per week. After the first month,
reduce this to once per week. After 6 months, reduce to once per
month. Set aside private time when you can listen to the CD in comfort,
with no external distractions. Some of the messages are explicit,
whilst others are indirect - they will influence your behaviour
in ways which are not clear to you.
This time commitment is important. Taken over the course of a year
it is a trivial amount of time, although you will need to be quite
disciplined in the early stages. Changing patterns of behaviour
requires commitment.
My confidence profile indicates that I need to develop in more
than one area. Which should I focus on first?
Focus on the one which most inspires you. Personal development
is a continuous process - change is a constant in our lives - so
you can feel free to start your program at any point. The important
thing is to start somewhere. Once the benefits of your more relaxed,
more confident self begin to emerge, you will find it easy to continue
with your program of self development. |
